As 2010 comes to a close...

I think about everything that happened this last year. I feel like I need to release it, so that I can move on.

Stetson: 2010 was a busy year for a busy boy. In February Stetson had to be put under to have his teeth worked on. He didn't have any enamel on his molars and he had to have caps put on 8 back teeth. He did well and has had no problems since then. In March he turned 3 and graduated from Kids On The Move. That meant that he had to be tested by the school district to see if he qualified for "Talking Time" preschool. He was able to get in, and went April-May. And got a Staph infection on his butt cheek in May. After a busy summer he started school again. Only this time he rides the bus to school. I cannot express how greatful I am for this program, he is talking SO much, and it is getting easier to understand what he is saying. My favorite things is when he comes home and sings me songs that he has learned. Stetson has particularly enjoyed the holidays this past year. He dressed up as a Dragon for Halloween. He discovered that Turkey tastes good, but he likes Ham better. Santa is watching to see if he is being a nice boy, and that Buzz Lightyear is proof of that. Stetson also learned about Baby Jesus, but is still a little confused about the story. He has learned to recognize his name, and also is in the process of learning that we are nice to our kitty and fish. I look forward to what this year brings Stetson and how much more he will learn and grow. I could not love that boy anymore than I do!

Chad: My poor Chad had a rough year. In February there was an accident at work and a bus fell off the lift. (it was faulty equipment) but Chad was operating the lift. Things were intense while they investigated because there was a big possibility that he could have lost his job. Then he had to deal with Me. (I will get to that in a minute). In March, Chad turned 28, and his Grandpa Hardy passed away (dads dad). In May, the Cancer that Chads dad had been fighting for 20 years started to spread to his lungs and in July we had to say an Earthly goodbye to him. During this time Chad also got 3 staph infections. One that ate a hole in his muscle tissues. We had to go to the Doc. everyday to get it "packed" and the bandages changed. During this whole time Chad still worked very hard to provide for our family. In August he got our boat working, and in September we went for a day on the lake. Chad was so happy, it was good to see. Chad didn't dress up for Halloween, but he did carry Stetson most of the way. LOL. November brought another passing in his family this time it was his Grandpa Baum (moms dad). He also got an older truck as part of a bonus from his part time job. ( this made him very happy!) Thanksgiving Chad had the stomache flu, so it wasn't so great for him this year, but Christmas was better. All in all, Chad is ready to say goodbye to 2010, and get his projects started for 2011!

Jamee: Now onto me. I have to go back a little further... In January 2009 I started having major anxiety attacks. I was put on medicine to help which caused some major depression. by August 2009 I was a mess. My head was a mess. Only I didn't really realize how bad things were. There were a lot of decisions I made without consulting Chad concerning finances. Come November 2009, I started planning an exit strategy. All I remember from the holidays 2009 was thinking that it was my last Thanksgiving, last Christmas, ect... I am sorry thats a lot of information, but like I said I want to release it. During this time the only way I could function was to take Loratab. I wasn't using to get high, I was using to get out of bed. In January my depression became Manic. In March my sister and my mom stopped by. They knew something was up, without really knowing anything. That day was "THE DAY" I was done. They took me to the hospital. I spent 8 days up at LDS hospital Psych. ward. There they found out a lot of stuff. #1 My medicine was making me manic and was causing harm. #2 while I wasn't an "adict" I certainly like loratab more than I should. I recieved a lot of help and resources while I was in there. Also... I had to talk to Chad. What I did to him, was inexcusable. Chad and I stopped communicating and all there was, was yelling and rudeness in our home. Not a lot of love. or trust. After everything that happened it was a long fall from grace. It is so shameful.
Stetson and I moved in with my mom. I have never felt more fragil in my life. We stayed at my mom until July. During that time I went to see my therapist every week, and Chad and I did some couples therapy. In June I got to take a vacation and go to Country Jam with my family and my dear friend. It was SO much fun, but when we got back I was ready to go home. Chad and I had a tough decison to make. We knew we were going to have to rebuild our lives and our choice was...together, or seperate. After a lot of tears and compromising we decided together. Also in July I had to have a D&C(not pregnancy, female complications) and an IUD put in. I was told that when I am ready she will help me try to get pregnant, but if I start having complications again I will need to have a hysterectomy. In August my brother and sister in law moved in. In September I turned 28. I started my own business in November and had the opportunity to participate in four boutiques. This year I was able to enjoy the holidays. I am still fighting depression, which makes things seem really hard sometimes, but things are 100% better than last year. If I could have fast forward to see how things would turn out, I would not have believed it. I am thankful to my Heavenly Father, for keeping me here. And for the comfort I feel.

I am so thankful to our family, friends, and church for their help, and mainly for their forgiveness. And for letting me know how loved I am.
I don't think I have ever felt more loved.

2010 wasn't all bad, I will look back on it as a year of mistakes, learning, and growth. But I look forward to 2011. I am going to focus on making myself and my family healthy in every way. Mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally, and financially. I hope to expand my business some more. And I hope that we will be expecting an addition to our family by this time next year.


HAPPY NEW YEAR, LETS MAKE 2011 WONDERFUL!