My little quirks

I have been thinking that there are little things about me that people close to me don't even know. Like I have always wanted to be a pointe ballerina. Funny I know, but I am hoping that in Heaven I might be able to. Also I love lightening storms. My favorite place to sing is in my car, or shower. But who doesn't like to sing in their shower? I love flowers, but absolutely do not have a green thumb, so if I had a flower it would have to be self sufficient to survive. I think I have the ability to be really creative, but I am scared. If you were to sneek into my house while I was cleaning your bound to see me bust a move. I love the smell right before it rains. I absolutely hate cleaning out the fridge. When I go into Seagull book, or Deseret Book, or the Distribution Center I cry... and I have no idea why. I like almost all fruit except for apples...yuck! I am almost confident that if I kill a spider it's family is going to seek me out for revenge. I get severe anxiety on long car rides. I love theater, when I was in high school I was convinced that I could do something with it, but the last play that I did, after I was married...I felt silly. Although I would love to do a play again, and would love to be a voice for a cartoon character. I love peignoirs. If you don't know what that is it's a long pretty nightgown with lace on it, and a beautiful chiffon and lace robe to go over it. And I bought one for my upcoming anniversary. Also even if I don't seem like it I get attached to people who enter my life, but due to getting hurt to many times, I put up a wall. And with that wall I lose contact with people who made a really big impact in my life. Also I am very into heritage, and wanting to be like my grandmothers and great grandmothers. So, that's me.

Anxiety attack *Updated*

This is just a venting session. Well, kind of. I am having really bad anxiety right now. I am supposed to be giving the lesson in sharing time in primary on Sunday, and I feel totally unprepared. I finally figured out what I was going to be speaking on, but now my printer won't work. And I needed to use it to print off things for my lesson. I would use my moms but she is out of town. I know I will figure it out, maybe I will just have my lil' brother look at it when he comes over. Oh well, wish me luck!

Okay, well it has been about 2 hours and I can successfully say that I fixed my printer by myself! Are you impressed? Well you should be. I still have to get my lesson ready but I have been able to print off some of the resources I need to do it. Yay me!

Just a thought

Now I realize that as a person I have my own opinions, and I acknowledge the same in others. So please don't be to harsh as you read this. I have been thinking a lot about infertility. It took me 30 months ttc to get my own beautiful baby boy down to earth. Even then, we had to use fertility medicine. Right now I am trying to get motivated so that I can have another child. I think that the thought of riding that emotional roller coaster has me scarred, scared, and is holding me back. So as I have been thinking about my battle with infertility, my thoughts turn to those who are also trying and having just as hard, if not harder time than me. It seems like more and more women struggle with this than I have ever heard of before. Or, can it be that I am just older and more aware? I don't think so. Today as my thoughts turned to this I had an Epiphany...Maybe we are having a harder time conceiving today, because there are so many children already here on earth who need parents! Maybe we are being slightly directed in which way we can help. Most women trying to conceive will be great mothers. And there is nothing like good parents. I could be wrong, maybe I am just scared. Either way it's something to think about.

Really, we're sharing a road with these people?

Over the last two days, I have seen some pretty unbelievable acts of ...for lack of word I will use stupidity. Yesterday as we were driving up to my grandparents in Draper, UT. A duel cab truck passes us on the freeway. Now in this truck, they had 4 passengers in the front, 4 in the backseat, And 5 others in the bed of the truck with 4 out of the 5 being children! I was at a loss for words, seriously on the freeway going 75 mph!? I just couldn't get over it. Then today there was a kid about 19 driving with his one arm behind his head, and one foot hanging out his window. Like he was sittin' at home in a LazyBoy. Then to top it off, driving home from where I was back on the freeway. There was a man, with a little boy, probably about 4 or 5 riding a motorcycle without helmets...ON THE FREEWAY!!! People, wise up and think. When you are traveling you not only hold your life in your hands, but the life of others. Buckle up and be safe!

The Bunny and the Frog

Chad and I met online, but we did not date online. We were both on a web site called Imatchup.com. One night in June 2003 it was a Sunday, he sent me a flirt that said "How's it going" I sent one back, not realizing he was actually on that moment. All I typed was "Great" Well, that started an 8 hour IM conversation. The next day we started talking on the phone. We had set a date for Saturday night. But Friday he called and asked if I wanted to go to dinner. I accepted his request and met him at a little mexican restaurant called "Corinna's". He got there about 10 minutes before me, so he had time to tell the waitresses that it was a blind date, but that he liked me a lot. When I was driving there, I was so nervous. I walked in and there he was...glowing with white around him. I thought how strange that was, but I felt like I already knew him. He handed me a yellow rose, and we went to our table. We were only able to spend about an hour together because he still had to work. As I drove home I remember thinking of how comfortable I was with him. The next day was Saturday and we went on our date as planned. It was a lot of fun, we ended it with a long walk at sunrise, and no we weren't doing "anything" we didn't even kiss that night. But as I went to bed...that morning...I remember knowing that he was my companion, and one day we would soon be married. Now we have been married almost 4 years. They have not been easy, but I have loved him every step of the way. We have made a beautiful baby boy together, and hopefully will add to that. But he is a wonderful dad, who loves his son. He takes such good care of us. We love you Frog!

Forever and Ever

Well, I must say that I am excited for my little family! We are having a very special event take place in our lives in August. Through this we will be able to be together forever. How amazing is that?! We are very excited, and thankful to all who have supported us.

Yeah, I feel safe there too!

Last night we had an uncommon event happen. My son woke up crying around 12:00am. Now those who know us, know that we have been one of the few who have been blessed with a child that sleeps. He has slept through the night since he was 1 month old. So when he wakes up, we get worried. Well, after determining what type of cry it was (scared) We scooped him up, and took him down stairs. For we knew it was to early to lay him back down. I told my husband I had the situation under control and sent him back to bed, He NEEDED to get some sleep. But Stetson wouldn't have it. He wanted his daddy. So after giving him a drink we decided to lay him between us, and see if he would fall asleep. As I was watching him lay on my husbands arm, I felt such gratitude. Thankful that I was not doing this alone. I watched Stetson relax, and he had such a calm look on his face while drifting off to sleep as if to say, "Okay, I am safe here" Yeah, I feel safe there too!

The Power of a Mother

This one might be interesting...I have been thinking about the power of a mother lately. What impact do they really have on a childs life? Especially when they are grown? I always come back to the same conclusion, it is the mother who makes or breaks a child. I have seen both examples of this. A child who is praised, cheered on, inspired, encouraged, to learn forgiveness and persistence and most importantly shown unconditional love is bound to prevail! They are given the tools to show them how to succeed in life. Learning how to be strong and independent. A child who is abused, made fun of, spoken down to, disgraced, shamed, and shown no love or affection. They are bound to be confused, hostile, to rebel and to be broken. All because the one who was supposed to love them most, failed them. Maybe this is not the case 100% of the time. But I encourage you to hold your child a little closer, tell them you love them a little more, and always be there for them, whether they are soaring high, or need to be picked up. If you don't have children yet, think of a child you know...and I know you know at least one. Take time to let them know you care. Sometimes all we need, is that assurance that someone is out there, and they care about us.

Lets hear it for the boy...or should I say man

I must take the time to say how proud I am of my husband! He has worked hard at making himself better, so that he can make his family a "forever" one. Now, for some of you, you may say this was easy. Or that it is really not that much work. But if you know my hubby, it was work. Although he doesn't fight certain temptations, he has some limitations that would make it easy for others to give up or not try. I would like to thank him, for the great example he is setting for our son, our family, others, and himself. And giving me something I never really had in my own home growing up. He is truly remarkable.